Monday, 20 February 2012
2012 vs 2011
I look back to this time last year and what a difference. In February last year I was sick, angry, scared and recovering from a minor stroke that thank heavens left me no lasting damage. Lifestyle changes including giving up coffee implemented. I returned to my hectic job albeit working part time increasing to 4 days per week. As most of us who have been infertile for a long time can appreciate, my career meant everything to me as I poured my heart and soul into and nurtured my team members and work colleagues alike. The pressure at work began to mount and it soon became obvious that I would need a new work direction. In all of this I saw a report on a local Current Affair Program about SCI and 2 Aussie Dads (Brett and Tony" who brought home 2 sets of twins. I cried as I saw this story. I then got very angry asking myself "why cant this happen for us?" . And from there I have to thank my counsellor who really challenged me and my excuses as to why I couldn't do it. From the "it wont work", "this is not natural to buy a baby this way", to "my health will suffer" and of course "I'm way too old to have a baby". She helped me deal with that and helped me reflect and deal with those emotions so I could dust off the cobwebs and pry open this long closed door of hope for our own family . A big kiss and thankyou to her "K" - you are probably reading this by now anyway!!
And of course I have to thank my hubby. He is so lovely. As a woman who has been infertile since age of 24, I have challenged him many times over the years about whether he will want to run off when he is older to have children because he may feel he was missing something. His answer was always the same. "If you cant have children it means we cant have children". Now his answer is "if there is any chance to have children with you then of course I am up for it". As a man with financial and property qualifications he then soon got about to spreadsheeting and calculating costs for our surrogacy journey. I loved it when he did that . I found it sexy- how ridiculous is that!! He undertook all the medical testing without a complaint and like me has become emotional already on this ride.
February 2012 now sees me getting fit working out with a personal trainer once a week but being at gym 3- 4 times a week. Both hubby and I are trying to improve our fitness so we can be the best parents should our dreams comes true - hey we will need the energy and I am loving what the gym is doing to tone my body! This month hopefully sees me about to leave my old employer and picking up a new job where I wont be so stressed (I hope I havent jinxed this but my interview was fantastic last week and they checked both referees on Friday and it sounds like a done deal according to my referees)....and of course most important 2012 sees us jetting off next month to New Delhi to meet Dr Shivani, hopefully our surro mummies and to enjoy the tastes (I love Butter Chicken, Rogan Josh, Lamb Korma), sights, noise and culture of India. I pray to God, Guru Nanak, Mata Hari that our journey will be successful.
2012 WE LOVE YOU !