Tuesday, 20 March 2012


Andrew's mother called us up again yesterday, and even after a few days of letting the news sink in we are still hearing all the negativity in the world from her. Yesterday this is the summary of comments from her about our surrogacy journey:

"It sounds like a rip off scam from India;
You will get caught up in legal problems trying to bring baby home and you will expect me to bail you out;
The surrogate mums are from slum areas and you are exploiting them;
You two are really too old to do this as raising children takes 40 years;
How can Mel take time off work to raise children?;"

There were a litany of other unsavoury comments. Hubby got angry with his mother and told her in no uncertain terms that she either got on the bus and supported us or she is not to discuss it again. I chose to write her a letter and attached heaps of information so she could at least be better informed. I dont think it will make a difference as I do think this is an age thing with an inability to deal with massive change. It is also something she cannot control and she really dislikes not having some sort of control.

We leave for Delhi early Thursday morning ( less than 2 days now) so I am sooooooooooo excited ! It's 35 degrees celsius in Delhi so I am also looking forward to warm weather.


  1. Safe and successful travels! Leave the negative comments behind and focus on the road ahead. Hopefully, not to long from now you will be holding your baby in your arms and all the negativity will vanish in an instant because you are not going to care what she thinks. Good luck!

  2. It's sad that you're not getting supported by her. I have a similar mother in law and it's difficult. Try to only focus on yourselves and your wonderful journey. Sometimes friends make the best family. xxx

  3. Your MIL has had the opportunity to live her life and raise her children you now have the opportunity to do the same. You have put in your boundaries so just keep enforcing them. Surrogacy is not for everyone but I am sure glad it was for us. Good luck and try not to care what others think. I bet you when baby/ies arrive they will think it was the best thing you ever did! LOL

  4. I believe we have all faced this ignorance at some point in our journey, unfortunately, it hurts far more when the words come from those who are not strangers. I hope that when she sees the smiling face of your little guy or gal her ignorance will melt away and be replaced with nothing but love. Can 't wait for your trip updates!!!

  5. ignore all the negativity and stay focused.goodluck. we cant just please everyone!

  6. Good luck I am so excited for you, you have to let me know how it goes, because I leave in 40 days


  7. Have a safe trip and enjoy the warm weather!!
    You have to do what is right for you and your husband !!!
    Take care looking forward to hearing your news!!

  8. There are lots of negative nellies and negative ned's who want to rain on your parade. They are usually people that are too scared to take any leap of faith or calculated risk. I say "BORING" and if you havn't got anything nice to say "DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL"!!
    Ten times harder when they are related!!! Enjoy India, I miss it sooooo much and focus on the wonderful journey you are about to start. Best wishes!!

  9. If somebody tells me not to do something...what do you think i want to do??? Sorry, have always been that way...use that to your advantage!! Use others ignorance to give you strength and determination!! You will need it!! India is amazing...enjoy your journey!!!

  10. Best wishes for your journey!
    Listen to your heart for whats right for you and your family. SJ & B xx

  11. Ugh!!! Why is it so hard for some people to see the good side of things? It must be so exhausting to see life in terms of doom and gloom. Shouldn't the prospect of a grandchild outweigh everything else? My MIL only sees the down side to everything and it makes it very hard for me to relate to her. As long as you and Hubby are on the same team, you can deal. Good vibes heading your way!