Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Lest we forget....

So today is a very solemn day in the history of Australia and New Zealand. For it is ANZAC Day. A day we remember those brave men and women who fought overseas to defend the freedom we enjoy today. On the shores of Gallipoli on this day in 1915 many, many Australian lives were lost. It was also on this day that many Aussie troops based near Villers-Bretonneux in France started an attack that ended up in the German Army retreating and ruined the German plan of using their significant weaponry to destroy Paris. 

I always become emotional on this day as I try to comprehend the enormous sacrifice my fellow Australians made for me and others on this day. Made even more poignant as both my father and mother were in the Army. My father did not end up serving in the Vietnam War but was on his way there when the army pulled him back home, as my mother had become very ill after the birth of my sister. The Army felt this was best given that there would be 4 young children possibly orphaned if my mother had passed away. I believe this saved my father from perishing in the Vietnam war. My mother grew stronger in time and then they had me, their final child. So I am enormously thankful to be on this earth.

My mum and dad passed away nearly 5 years ago and they are buried together not far from my home. Their headstone which was approved by the Australian War Memorial proudly bears the insignia of the Australian Army similar to the one pictured above.

Just like the ANZAC's, I will never forget my parents...for what they did for their country....for what they did for me.......I know they are looking after our little seedlings at the moment ........I know they are smiling at the thought we will be having babies soon........Lest we forget. Love you Mum and Dad

Sunday, 22 April 2012

Pinch me .....both our Surro Mummies are Pregnant!

Just went to bed and heard my phone beep to say I had email...................Woooohooooooooooooooo we are pregnant. Now it is still early days but anyone like to bet that our surro mummy "L" might be carrying more than one? Maybe we really will be "Blessed with Bubs". Wow this journey is amazing. Here is that beautiful email.

Dear Andrew & Melissa,


We would like to inform you that as per our schedule we have done Beta HCG tests for L & K.

We are very happy to inform you that their beta HCG values are 351.81 & 147.31 respectively.  Please find the attached files for the same.

We would like to congratulate you as you are pregnant now.

We will now do USG scans for L & K within a week to check the pregnancy sacs.

Saturday, 14 April 2012

A softer mother-in-law

Andrew and I are feeling alot better about his mother's acceptance of the journey we are on. Since returning from Delhi she was very positive when we told her we would find out around about 25th April if the surrogate mummies are pregnant. In fact she said to Andrew, "you are going to love being a parent" and then relayed her memory of when Andrew's Dad (sadly departed) first saw Andrew take his first steps. His Mum said that his Dad had a beaming smile and was so proud of his son. Wow this is a real turn around in her attitude. We hope her positivity continues and sincerely  hope that her attitude was not generated because she was happy we had saved her $500 by buying her 600 duty free cigarettes (sorry that sounds so cynical!!)

We are also thinking of our surro mummies and the incredible thing they are doing in carrying our embryos. We do hope Mrs C and Mrs S are keeping safe and well. I know that SCI will be looking after them.

Thursday, 12 April 2012

The 2WW Game begins !!

Since returning home to Australia from Delhi, we have been anxiously awaiting news on the embryo transfer. Message from Dr Shivani early this morning. "Top quality embryos transferred (yesterday to 2 surrogate mums) and 12 frozen. Updates in the report which will be sent to you from office. Fingers crossed now"

Wooooo hooooooooooo! Given my calculations we will find out if there are pregnancies on 25 April 2012 which just happens to be a public holiday here in Australia. If I had to be at work that day I am not sure I could hide my anxiety and I need to keep this secret from work for the moment. Dr Shivani has calculated that if all goes well these will be christmas babies. Had the best Easter this year so bring on Christmas!

There is still a huge part of me that is trying to protect thyself from disappointment. I cant help it after 20 odd years of the pain that goes along with infertility and trying this avenue and that avenue, it is a natural defence mechanism. I have been keeping records of everywhere we went in India including ticket stubs etc and have been contemplating compiling an album of our journey, so that in years to come if we do have any children they can see how much we wanted them and how it all started. If I do this though and we are not successful, it may break my heart. I hope I am stronger than that, as I feel this is an important historical document to show our future children. We want  them to realise just how much we already love them. 

I heard the Savage Garden song today "I knew I loved you before I met you" and that is exactly the way I feel about our unborn children. Eeeeeek - how can you go through this without having such a heavy level of emotional investment! My sister tells me this is normal and to go with the flow as the rollercoaster ride this side of any birth will help prepare us for parenthood. My wise lovely sister!

Tuesday, 10 April 2012

Photos from India - Jaipur, Agra and Delhi

Now that we are home I have been able to upload some photos from our recent trip to India. My Jaipur photos are on another camera which is currently being charged up so will share when available.

I wont bore you with all of the photos we took as Andrew took many silly photos labelled " Count how many people you can get in a tuk tuk"

Below in typical Andrew style is a pic of him "carrying"  the Taj Mahal.

Next I couldnt resist doing a similar shot to Princess Diana and sitting on that bench in front of the Taj.

I love this photo which is a view of the Guest House taken through the marble honeycomb wall of the Taj Mahal.

We had to kiss even though not the done thing in public - but hey the whole reason for the Taj Mahal's existence is because of the rich love that the Raj had for his Mumta Taj.

The very impressive and moving India Gate in New Delhi.

The President's Palace in New Delhi. They move you on very quickly when you are taking photos - guards and police constantly telling you to move on. They are nervous and twitchy!

If you are in Delhi I recommend spending an hour or so at Ghandi Smirti (Museum). It is free entry but very worthwhile. I was very moved with what I saw and experienced there. Below is a representation of Ghandi's last steps as he was walking to prayers before he was assassinated in 1948.

This photo depicts where Ghandi died

There are many photos and interactive displays about Ghandi and his work - this is just one of his sayings "I know the path It is straight and narrow It is like the edge of a sword I rejoice to walk on it" Much like surrogacy but this path will have lots of twists on it but will be like the edge of a sword sometimes and it will hurt but I am happy to have the hope and walk on this path.
 And finally these are the only wordly possessions that Ghandi had at the time of his assassination. He believed in simplicity and he only had his glasses, glass case, walking stick, 2 spoons, 1 fork, 2 knives, sharpening rock and monocle. He also had a wooden statue of the 3 monkeys - one with the hands over the eyes, 1 with hands over ears and 1 with hands over the mouth - see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.

Sunday, 8 April 2012

Feelings of abandonment

I know this sounds absolutely ridiculous, but virtually as soon as our plane left the ground from Delhi, I became upset with myself. Why because I feel like I am abandoning potential babies that are still growing in the lab. I cant believe these emotions and I keep checking myself. I dont think the 2 hours of sleep that I had last night is helping me either. If this is my level of investment already the next 8-9 months are going to be a real doozy! Did anyone else go through similar feelings or am I the only one who has had this reaction?

Saturday, 7 April 2012

Eggciting update!

Latest from Dr. Shivani 27 eggs collected from our donor with 23 classified as matured (MII) Happy Easter everyone

Egg Collection Day

We are eagerlyawajting the report from Dr Shivani to see how many eggs have been collected from our egg donor. Andrew provided his last specimen today for fresh transfer to the eggs.Now we await the weekend where we are so hopeful that many A grade embryos are produced. It,s now up to Dr Shivani and her wonderful SCI team to do the rest.We are catching up with Ryan and Ruben again for dinner tomorrow night (India CAlling) they are amazing people and we feel so priveleged to have met them and to be sharing this journey. It will be sad to leave India but we head back to Australia early Sunday morning.

Thursday, 5 April 2012

it's now feeling real

Today we met both of our surro mums. An emotional meeting as hubby tried to reassure both surrogate mummies that he was not a big baby despite his current 6foot 2 inch height and 100kg+ frame. Today now means this is real for us, before it's been aong awaited dream. Now we feel the scene is set for the creation of our family. Go Dr Shivani and weave your magic .Thankyou to our wonderful surro mummies and our egg donor. On another note we were very lucky to have dinner with Ryan and Reuben who are also starting their journey at the same time.Th anks for a great evening guys and hopefully we will be spending Christmas with bubs at the Svelte. Babydust in abundance is what I wish for us.

Wednesday, 4 April 2012

fish pedi spa

Today Andrew and I had a fish pedi spa at select city skywalk. The gurrarufa fish nibbled away gently and removes all the dead skin from your feet. Followed by foot wash, massage and herbal cream as well as neck back and shoulder massage this cost us a whole 750 rupees each for 45 mininges of relaxation. Awesome.. our 2 surro mummies have now been chosen for embryo transfer early next week. Wishing everyone a happy Easter

Monday, 2 April 2012

just met dr. shivani

And we are so hopeful for a successful outcome We are going to leave the surrogate mum selection in Dr Shivani's capable hands. Andrew has made his first deposit coming out w. Iith a big smil I feel closer and closer to a long awaited dream and pray that life.,god,karma won't be so cruel to bring us halfwAY around the world only to laugh in our face. Crossing everything for early good news around 23 April