Bye Bye my 4th precious one.......

No cardiac activity found in our 4th fetus........we are very sad and have been crying for some hours......we know we will get through this.......and we still have 3 babies that need us........like everyone in our surro family who has been through this...we already loved all 4 of our seedlings unconditionally so feels incredibly awful to say goodbye......we might stay in the dip of the rollercoaster for a little while until we feel stronger to face the next ascent....

Two Little Seedlings...

On such  an emotional high after the Surrogacy Australia Conference over the weekend. Whilst I only ended up being there on Saturday as I felt unwell Sunday, it was fantastic to meet other IP's that I have been blogging with for some time and to share experiences, giggles, fears and excitement. Kim and Bec you guys absolutely rock and I looooved chatting with you and laughing along with you. It was brilliant meeting Margarida and Meg in person and am so glad I was able to give you a hug and say thanks in person! And catching up with Dr Shivani again - wonderful. She deserved the cheers and applause that us SCI'ers in the audience mustered up in honour of her presentation at the conference.

I met so many other SCI'ers there that I am just so happy to be part of this family. I have long felt abnormal because of my infertility...but now that is a different story.........as one SCI'er said at dinner "Honey This is the new normal" - Trev you could not have said it better!

An update on 2 of our little ones. They have strong little heartbeats with Seedling 1 measuring at 146 beats per minute and Seedling 2 at 152 bpm. Here is a cropped shot of recent scans. I can see 2 heads but is it just me?

Hope everyone is well.

Living 2 Lives.......

This journey is so wonderful we are both so glad we are on this path. As time marches on and our seedlings grow, I am finding it increasingly difficult to reconcile my professional working life with my personal life. Having just started a new job a little over a month ago, I cannot and will not tell them about the journey we are on.......Unbeknowns to me the last 3 incumbents in my role left after a short period of time to have babies.........when I accepted the job back in February I did so thinking it would take a great deal of time to be successful on this surrogacy journey having built that opinion from years of infertility...........I am really enjoying my new job and the relationships that I am building...however if I am to mention anything too early it will mean people will stop building those relationships with me that make it crucial for me to do a quality job.........and hey we are still in the Danger Zone of the first trimester.
So I will continue to keep the joy and the happiness mixed with the anxiety to myself......I am sure many of us feel this tug of war when you are keeping such a big secret......

On another note I am so looking forward to Surrogacy Australia's first conference in Melbourne this weekend where Dr Shivani is keynote speaker. Hope to see some of the Aussie bloggers there!

4 Heartbeats confirmed!!

Yay!!!!!!!!! Over the moon! Cant wait. Grow little seedlings grow.

2 Little Heartbeats....and maybe more - is that being greedy?

Our wonderful surro mummy "L" who is about 7 weeks now is carrying 2 of our seedlings and their 2 strong heartbeats were confirmed on Thursday night. I am so relieved. Our other surro mummy "K" is a little behind and we are hoping that heartbeats will be confirmed by next Tuesday.

It is such an emotional experience waiting to hear. Knowing we have 4 gestational sacs which could equate to 4 bubs has instilled in both Andrew and I pride, happiness, terror, elation, fear, hopefulness, joy and apprehension about whether we can look after 4 babies at the same time..........however as the time marches on we are so hopeful that we do end up having 4 little babies. I am almost too afraid to wish that as this sounds greedy and it is still very early days. I am one of 5 girls so for me it's an absolute delight to think we could have 4 babies. Andrew and I have already looked at government assistance to support us should we have 4 babies so that we can both stay at home to care for them for the first 12 months. Thankfully there is more out there than I thought so some of those taxes we paid over the years are gonna be returned!

We love these little seedlings already and whilst I am expecting having 4 is unlikely I know I will be a mess if some of our seedlings dont come to fruition. That's the path we are all travelling though. My sister tells me it will help prepare us for parenthood, this rollercoaster ride we are on.

I love you my little seedlings. I so want to share this story with you one day so that you know how much we love you and want you.

I am very emotional this weekend as it is 5 years since my father passed away and my mum passed away 6 weeks later. My dad passed away the mother's day weekend so that anniversary falls at this time every year. I choose to think though that my parents are taking care of our little seedlings until they can be with us.

Well we always wanted a big family.....

Just received an email from SCI tonight. Thank heavens there was no phone call. Our surro mummy K had some bleeding so an updated scan was undertaken. K is doing fine and her pregnancy is going well. However we got some more surprising news. K's last scan only revealed one gestational sac - now there are two gestational sacs. So because our other surro mummy "L" scans already showed 2 gestational sacs that means 2 + 2 might mean 4 babies???? OMG That is scarily fantastic. Cant wait until heartbeats are confirmed later this week.

Hubby keeps laughing and saying "I told you I am a fertile b***ard" I keep reminding him that it is still early days. Meanwhile I am sending my prayers and best wishes to both of our surro mummies to stay well. It really is extraordinary what our egg donor and surrogate mummies have done for us so far. 

TRIPLE TREAT !!!

Our 5 week USG scans were done today and across our 2 surro mummies we have 3 well defined gestational sacs. Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We pray to God, Lord Krishna, Mata Hari and Guru Nanak that our surro mummies and our 3 seedlings stay well and grow strong each day. This is so surreal. Still very early days though.

I have now finally worked out how to put the scan photos back on here without breaching our SM's names - see below

First the twins - how beautiful do you look already!!

And our little single one - dont be too lonely in there precious little one xxoo

More India Photos......

After some technical difficulties with the camera I have finally been able to upload a selection of photos from our recent trip to Jaipur, Agra and Delhi. Here goes wish me luck that this works!

I love this pic as it is taken by reflection in a mirror at the Palace of Mirrors in Jaipur - so romantic!!!!!!

We had to have the obligatory Riding on the Elephant photo. All 100 or so elephants in Jaipur are girls and ours was called "Bull Bull" - that makes perfect sense - not!!

 Creepy snake charmer shots near City Palace in Jaipur - but had to take it as was a sight to behold

 Andrew being brave or stupid not sure which - but he said the cobra had been defanged so he was perfectly safe!

City Palace in Jaipur where the remaining Raj (who is only 11 years of age resides)

If you are a James Bond fan you may remember this - still in Jaipur this is the Water Palace and was in the film Octopussy - it is not open to the public so you can only view from afar!

This is a shot of us with Satish our driver from Rahul's Car Service in front of the Amber Fort in Jaipur. Satish was a very good driver and put up with our singing on the road trip from Delhi to Jaipur, then to Agra then back to Delhi.

Our gorgeous hotel in Jaipur called the Umaid Bhawna Hotel. Ornate golden plated entrance into the hotel. For $40 a couple per night including buffet breakfast and free internet it was magnificent. Rooftop restaurant was superb. Highly recommend this place. Rooms had a canopy bed and if you spent a little extra you can even have a suite that looked like something from Arabian Nights!

Self explanatory our pool at Hotel Umaid Bhawna. 

One of the many photos of how many can fit into a Tuk Tuk. There were about 17 in this one.

  Of course us in a Tuk Tuk !

Where we stayed in Agra - Jaypee Palace Hotel - they had this great 24/7 entertainment area complete with small bowling alley and a diner come casual eating place. I wasnt feeling too well (hurt my back) so hubby bought me this beautiful black forest cake from The Old Bakery within Jaypee Palace and it cost a whole $3 Australian! (including the inscription)

My darling one being comical - yes that is the Taj Mahal in the background or nearly in his mouth.This is at Agra Fort where Shahzahan - he built the Taj Mahal for his deceased wife Mumtaz. Shahzahan - was imprisoned at Agra Fort by his son. He could look out from his prison and see the Taj...

The inside of one of the prison rooms at Agra Fort. It is almost as beautiful as the Taj itself.

Jaipur in the state of Rajastan is brilliant I thought it was rather romantic with all the palaces etc. I throughly recommend a trip to Jaipur

I have bored you enough now with this slideshow!